Welcome to matters concerning us all, an issue that affects men and women alike. Matters of the heart that even turns the strongest of men to weak.
When it comes to love, there are no restrictions, no rules and no commandments. Each relationship is distinct to the partners involved. There is a popular saying that goes thus “Love is blind”.
How blind is your Love? Do you love with your heart or with your head? Aside this, we have two categories of people, the bold and the not so bold guys if you know what I mean.
There are some guys who no matter the circumstance cannot approach a lady or as it is popularly known, they cannot toast. Then for the ladies, there are some who no matter what are always on the fence, constantly accepting guys and friend zoning them.
Friend zone is a term utilized for the circumstance in which one individual in a common association/ friendship wishes to go into a love/ romantic or sexual relationship with the other individual usually a female, while she does not. The individual whose sentimental advances were dismissed is then said to have “entered” or been “put in” the Friend zone.
The Friend zone is not a pleasant place to be put in. it is more of a rejection zone because the other individual still wants you around yet, doesn’t consent to a sentimental relationship which is the thing that you need. Enduring this situation can be frustrating. How do you tell when you are falling into the zone, what are the signs and how do you avoid them?
How might you tell that you won’t advance in your friendship? The truth is that, your gut feeling speaks but often time love blinds. When somebody is not into you, they show it before the “love discussion”. When you recommend a date, they make excuses about spending it with you; instead, they turn it into a group hangout. At the point when you meet, they are restless or diverted (thinking about how to break it to you, no uncertainty). Their writings or messages are hesitant and ambiguous; they notice single companions of theirs that “you’d be ideal for” you hear statements like “Peter, my friend Chioma will suit you, you guys behave alike”. At whatever point the discussion gets sentimental or sexual, they steer it cautiously away or offer remarks about their own sexual coexistence that excludes you. Their tone is “matey”. They talk about exes (a ton) and suggest a “type” (zero of his character or actual characteristics coordinating yours). Need I go on? If you have been in this position, you probably have tons of experiences and extra tips to include.
An Escape Route
How do you escape this mind trap and move to greener pastures where you’ll be accepted. The most evident answer might be the hardest to take. Wasting precious time and being expectant about a relationship with somebody who considers you to be a companion will leave you feeling embarrassed and, at last, significantly further from where you need to be.
Looking at the situation objectively, you have just two alternatives when somebody says they need you as mere companions: acknowledge it and be companions or if you cannot, leave them alone. There is no third way. Are you prepared for awkward moments and off limits rules? You don’t persuade somebody about your worth and love, interest and diligence only to get a disavowal.
In the event that they adjust their perspective, it needs to come from them and not be achieved by wearing them out. If you force it and overdo and eventually manipulate them into accepting, it becomes an empty triumph because half of the time, they were forced to be with out of self pity. Though not always. There are always exceptions.
It can hurt when you are denied no doubt. You’ll feel your pride take a slamming, you’ll begin to question your worth, thinking about what’s up with you. In any case, what you have by letting go you is your respect.
Embrace it and make an honest effort to proceed onward. You’ll definitely be fascinated by another person and hopefully the feeling would be mutual.
In the event that you think you’ll battle remaining companions, you have to clarify, set boundaries and ease off in an honourable way that doesn’t destroy your friendship. You can even opt for a break until things are clearer and you’re prepared to acknowledge it. Be the bigger person.
Being Friend zoned is not attributed to a particular gender though more prevalent to the males. If you happened to be friend zoned, dust your shoes and keep moving. Who knows the next person coming along might even be a better fit and give you all the love you want and deserve.
Subsequently, I suggest you keep your friends even after being friend zoned. Don’t hold it against them. It’s a choice and sadly, you aren’t theirs. That doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish beautiful and worthwhile ventures together. Remember, friends, make the world a better place.